Stop Saying Sorry & Hug It Out

The ATF podcast typically features discussions about nutrition, exercise or how we like our coffee (we talk A LOT about coffee). But on this week’s episode, we investigate a health-related topic that we don’t really discuss very often: self-esteem.

Before we jump into our main topics for this week’s episode, we want to update you all on how we made our health & fitness a priority last week.

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#whatiatewednesday – Shannon’s zucchini bread with dark chocolate sweet potato frosting made another appearance on our menu last week, this time exclusively for the 🥜’s birthday cake. I know I mentioned this item before but I wanted to share a little nutritional highlight about the sweet potato frosting that I think will really blow your mind. This homemade frosting, which consists of puréed sweet potato, 86% dark chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon, contains approximately 8g of sugar per 1/2 cup. Wanna know how much sugar is in 1/2 cup of @pillsbury chocolate frosting? 72 GRAMS! When your done picking your jaw off the floor, please follow @shannonjp so she can share this recipe with you. ⠀⠀ •⠀⠀ •⠀⠀ •⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #health #nutrition #fitness #diet #exercise #workout #nutrients #food #carbs #lowsugar #darkchocolate #sweetpotato #birthdaycake #dessert #homecooked #glutenfree #minerals #vitamins #obesity #Tampa #tampabay #tampafit #tampafitness #healthytampabay #tampapersonaltrainer #ETTampa

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Training Recap

We didn’t alter our normal exercise routines too much (Shannon with daily yoga & HIIT and me with PT sessions & boxing classes) but we did have to do a lot of cooking in preparation for Ella’s first birthday. The one item that Shannon made which is definitely worth mentioning was Ella’s birthday cake (pictured above). The cake consisted of a vegan, gluten-free zucchini bread with a chocolate sweet potato frosting. Sweet potato frosting may sound crazy, but we will both testify that it tastes delicious and it has a fraction of the sugar that store-bought frosting has.

We also had to take Ella to her 12-month doctor visit. This was an especially tough one because it consisted of several immunizations including this year’s flu vaccine. We’re never thrilled when Ella has to get more than one shot at a doctors visit, but we are big believers in the benefits of immunizations. Especially since we’ll be traveling later this week and as you’ve heard on several past ATF episodes, airports and airplanes are prime locations for catching some type of illness.

Even though the thought of Ella acquiring a cold or virus while on our trip is stressful, we are super excited to travel with her. We’ll be bringing our recording equipment with us so get ready for another “on the road” ATF episode very soon.

When Not to Say “I’m sorry”

One trend that both Shannon and I’ve noticed in both our personal and professional lives is the overuse of the word “sorry.” People seem to be using it as a response in any conversation, not just ones that warrant asking for forgiveness. Shannon discovered an article on the Well + Good site describing how “ritual apologies” can be passive aggressive ways to diffuse conflict.

The article quotes Georgetown professor Alexandra Johnston who states “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ can be the first part of an expected two-part ritual, one that women expect other women to implicitly understand and complete with a return apology or refusal to assign blame.” According to the article, the misuse of sorry tends to be a bigger issue with females. Men typically see the word “sorry” as a way to apologize or take the blame, which can lead them to see the person who’s apologizing as lower on the social ladder.

Shannon has also noticed how body language in board meetings can change how a person is perceived. This perception can certainly lead to undesirable emotional consequences. The article consulted communications expert Marcia Reynolds on the overuse of “sorry” and she said it “creates a perception of low self-esteem and status. If you say ‘sorry’ to me frequently, then it sets up the dynamic that I am more important than you, which often doesn’t feel good for either of us.”

Shannon and I feel that using sorry to diffuse situations/conflicts inhibits honest dialogue and can cause feelings of resentment among people. If you make a conscious effort to only use “sorry” when you need to apologize or take the blame for a mistake, we believe that both your self-esteem and relationships will improve.

Hugs reduce conflict feelings

We also discussed another topic that could lead to better relationships and improve your self-esteem. A recent Time Health article describes a study that found that hugs can increase positive feelings and reduce negative ones on days when people experienced conflicts.

The study consisted of phone surveys from over 400 people during a two week period. The survey participants were asked numerous questions about their mood, daily interactions and whether or not they received a hug that day. The co-author of the study, Michael Murphy, states that “A very simple, straightforward behavior — hugging — might be an effective way of supporting both men and women who are experiencing conflict in their relationships,”

Murphy also states that hugging can produce unique physiological benefits like reductions in stress-related brain and heart activity and the release of the mood-enhancing hormone oxytocin. Any type of physical contact, handshake or pat on the back can also produce emotional benefits for the recipient. Shannon wanted to make sure all the listeners who weren’t “huggers” were aware.

Hopefully, you learn a couple new tactics on how to improve your mood and confidence level on this week’s ATF podcast. If you have any experience with either of these topics, please feel free to share your experience with us via email or on our social channels.

We’d also appreciate it if you give us a rating and review in iTunes and/or Apple podcasts app. We’ll feature your comment on a future episode in our Listeners talk back section. Don’t forget to check out our shop page! That’s where you can also find our links to our awesome affiliates, Stick Mobility & The Hemp Coffee Exchange, along with ATF approved products on Amazon

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